I became dear friends with my pastor, Pastor Joe as we call him, almost 11 years ago, which was really different for me. I grew up Catholic and to have a friendship with the pastor was not something that I knew you could do. I didn't even know that this was an option. But anyway, we would connect from time to time in passing when I was at the church for some study or maybe I was there serving on the Great Banquet team, but nonetheless, it always seemed to be a divine appointment. He would call me back to his office that was filled with shelves of many books from the floor to the ceiling. He loved to share his insight with me and was always willing to pull something off the shelf for me to read. He was a friend of Henri Nouwen, a well renowned author of spiritual life, and if my memory serves me right, he studied under Henri which is really a big deal....did not know that until I did my research. Anyway, as I was going through my boxes of books, I pulled out a book by Henri Nouwen titled, The Inner Voice of Love, to see an excerpt from the chapter "See Yourself Truthfully" that I highlighted and wanted to share.
"You continue struggling to see your own truth. When people who know your heart well and love you dearly say that you are a child of God, that God has entered deeply into your being, and that you are offering much of God to others, you hear these statements as pep talks. You don't believe that these people are really seeing what they are saying. You have to start seeing yourself as your truthful friends see you. As long as you remain blind to your own truth, you keep putting yourself down and referring to everyone else as better, holier, and more loved than you are. You look up to everyone in whole you see goodness, beauty, and love because you do not see any of these qualities in yourself. As a result, you begin leaning on others without realizing that you have everything you need to stand on your own feet. You cannot force things, however. You cannot make yourself see what others see. You cannot fully claim yourself when parts of you are still wayward. You have to acknowledge you where you are and affirm that place. You have to be willing to live your loneliness, your incompleteness, your lack of total incarnation fearlessly, and trust that God will give you the people to keep showing you the truth of who you are."
Have you struggled to see your own truth...whether good or bad??? Why do we do this? Why can't we see the same person that God or those that love us see? Why do we feel unworthy or incapable of receiving love???
As I reflected on this segment of the book, I was reminded how our strengths and gifts can be used to love on others even if we don’t think we can. How many times has someone walked into your life and you made a connection that was really unique? It happens to me all of the time. Maybe I notice it more because I look at each opportunity to connect as a way to encourage and serve others. The only way to truly connect with other people is by being transparent and real about who we are. The more you are like this with people the more they will be able to truly connect with you and share who they are. I want you to know that you can make a difference in someone's life.....even if it is doing small things to lift them up. Each day is a day to start again with a new paradigm. I have chosen to not let fear keep me from pursuing what I feel God is calling me to do, but instead to pray about it and ask for guidance in each step when loving on those that mean something to me. Yes, it can take me out of my comfort zone but that's ok because I welcome the unknown. What do we have to lose really?!?! I think there is alot to gain and you never know when you might make a difference in someone's day. That is encouraging to me!!!!
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